My God is good to me. I can't stop saying it. It's a simple phrase that resonates deep within my spirit these days. He is so GOOD to ME!
God's timing has always eluded me. Understanding it has always been seemingly useless and impossible. But for the first time (maybe the second), I think God has given me a glimpse at the heart behind His timing.
God asked me 6 years ago as I raised support to move and minister to the lost sheep of Rome, "If you're willing to serve me in Italy, will you serve me in Cleveland?" In my
woundedness and flesh I cried out a resounding "NO!" And so started my journey back here in Ohio.
The Lord was then faithful to lay out the reasoning. First to assist in somethings surrounding my grandparent's estates, and then second, and more longstanding, to start a journey in caring for my precious Mom. This started at first with prayer, spiritually caring for her, and emotionally with a ministry of presence. My choice to stay in Cleveland blessed this woman. Later, in early 2009, I would start the journey of physically caring for this Beauty when she moved into my home with an end stage terminal illness. This part of the journey concluded on August 28, 2010, as she took one step on earth, and the next into GLORY.
I recently heard the phrase "redemptive trials." Had I responded in my
woundedness, I would have missed the amazing refinement process that laid in store as I submitted to caring for one of His "least of these." This season was the most trying season of my life. But God has been faithful to reveal the deep redemptive purposes within the trials.
Here I am, a short 2 1/2 months later, still heartbroken, but healing, and with a greater sense of purpose then when I began. There were some deeply rooted things that I could have never exposed on my own, but God in His mercy, in His love, brought to the surface through this journey. And now I am a different woman to step into the purposes He has for me and the Nations. A greater purpose than I could ever ask or imagine.
Since August, I have been in a season of "release", sitting at the feet of my Love. At such a time as this, He has sent prophets and messengers to bring revelation and profound messages of purpose, as well as encouragement and warning. The time to invest in their visits and listening to the others over simulcast would have been nearly impossible if my circumstances were still the same. In fact, the joy of housing one of the missionaries in our home would not have been possible, and I believe that the Lord used this woman
mightily to propel me forward into some of these things.
His timing is PERFECT. It is not cliche, and it's not to be forgotten. And so I mark it here. Each step of the journey has been intentional, of this I am confident. I also believe that I will not know the fullness on this side of Heaven, but praise God, I walk by faith and not by sight.
Blessed be the Name of the Lord, and blessed be the Lord, my God, who alone holds the keys to life and death, and who sits enthroned in Heaven above and does what He pleases. His timing is PERFECT and His ways are far above that of man! Praise His HOLY Name.
And here I go on another great adventure in the Lord!
"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining for what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:12-14
